I am writing this with tears still streaming down my face-don’t worry, nothing bad has happened. I just finished watching The Bucket List, and pretty much cried like a baby through most of it. I loved the beautiful friendship and genuine love that was formed between the two main characters.
This morning before watching the movie I had been thinking about writing a quick journal entry asking for prayer. I woke up feeling so overwhelmed of all the need that I see around me. There is so much to pray for, so many hurts and needs in the lives of all the people I care about.
So after my heart was breaking about more things to pray for amidst my circle of people in my life, I woke up feeling overwhelmed. I felt like I needed help, that maybe I couldn’t do it-“feeling” is just too much for me. I am always questioning myself and how I’m doing on this new journey God has put me on-I’m sure there is someone much better for the job.
So anyway, back to the movie. I don’t know if you have seen the movie-which I do suggest, it’s very touching. And I’m not going to pretend it’s some scriptural, faith based movie-but of course the subject of death always brings up faith questions; no matter what you’re belief is.
But one scene in the movie was very eye opening to me, and helped me deal with my original thoughts I had when I woke up. The two characters are in Egypt, looking at pyramids. One of them tells of an Egyptian belief about two questions they are asked when they die. Their answers to the questions determine whether they go to Heaven or not.
Now first let me say, I am not writing about that belief-I do not believe that. Entry into Heaven is through faith in Jesus Christ only. But the two questions were awesome questions, that we can use in how we live our lives on this earth.
The questions are “Have you found joy in your life?” and “Has your life brought joy to others?”. I can just imagine Jesus asking those questions. That pretty much boils down to what our lives should be. As believers we should find joy in our life through Jesus, and the fact that our names are written in the book of life-our reservation is already made, no matter what happens here on earth.
And the second question, would carry out the commandment of loving others. If others find joy through our lives, we must have loved!!!! And maybe led others on that path that leads them to their own joy in Jesus Christ.
So, my feelings are totally different from this morning. Yes, I still feel overwhelmed but I realized I am finding joy in being on this new journey and praying for people I care about. It has been my desire to be used by God, and to bring Him glory and I believe He has put me where He wants me. Even if that is just to pray for people that probably have no one else that prays for them. Seeing God in little moments recently in my life has been JOY.
So my answer to the first question is definitely YES-not only my joy in MY salvation but joy in realizing I am where God wants me to be. We are never promised an easy life this side of Heaven, just a companion to live it with us. So when I feel overwhelmed, I must remember I’m not alone.
The second question I assume is not meant for us to answer about ourselves. Maybe that’s a question meant only for others to answer about us. But you know what? Not for my glory, but for God’s, I do want the answer to that question to be yes about my own life someday and hopefully I will continue to strive for that-even in the littlest ways; wherever God leads me.
And yes, I’m still crying.
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