To refresh your memory, Journal #50 asked your thoughts on being hard on yourself. I was excited that I went ahead with that journal because God showed up and gave me great thoughts to consider.
I was reading an article at the time and this quote stuck out to me:
"If God approves of us, knowing all the wrong we will ever do, you and I have no right to disapprove of ourselves.Accept yourselves in spite of your weaknesses-God does"
I was most excited about this next thought, excited that God showed me something that I would never had thought about had I not posted this question. One of you, an admitted fellow struggler with this problem, answered me and gave me the following advice.
"When my friend brought up in Bible study that spending time beating myself up, bring critical of myself, and constantly thinking of my failures was self worship-it took my breath away. What??? I thought I was being humble and not proud? I have to remember that anything that takes my time, my focus, my thoughts from God is an idol and when I am all consumed with my "worthlessness", I am putting myself on the throne, not Jesus. In my desire to glorify Christ, I end up glorifying Satan when I focus on my shortcomings instead of the One who took them away."
Her friend from the Bible study said,"Self loathing is self worship. The enemy loves it when we fight with ourselves and are at war within...using all our energy in the inner war."
I have thought about this information ever since I received it. I'm amazed by it. Something I looked at as trying to better myself is actually something the enemy uses to get me to sin-self worship. I cannot begin to tell you how good I am at beating myself up-and all this time I thought I was using it for good, a technique to try to better myself. No wonder I always feel horrible. Duh!!!! It's such a simple thing really, just one of those little things the enemy slips by us. It reminds me of the time I heard about how "people pleasing" is a sin-it's idol worship because God is not on the throne. Another simple thing that the enemy uses and we have never thought about being a sin.
Thanks friend for the comment you sent me-God definitely used you that day.
I can't say I'm not at all self-loathing anymore, but when I feel myself slipping into it I have thought of this comment. I still feel like there is an area where our guilt is used for good, like when the Holy Spirit is trying to turn us around. But I need to work on how I cross that line of guilt and move into the self worship. I'm working on it and I'm excited how God showed up for me(and hopefully others that can use this comment) when I asked this question.
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