The Average Jane Journal #41 - Sunday Drive With God

The Average Jane Journal #41
Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Do not be afraid......not your will, but mine. (God speaking)

I want to give my whole life over to God's will, but there are always those times where I slip and think my way is better than God's. I just read a cool way to explain God's will. It's very simple, in fact it was used to explain God's will to a child. But you know what? This child still needs simple sometimes. Plus, the explanation feels so peaceful and I like that.

"Sometimes things just aren't God's will. God's will is a little like taking a Sunday drive with God behind the wheel. God's driving. He might turn where you don't expect a turn or go through a valley that feels too dark. But you don't have to worry about a thing, because you're just the passenger. Whatever happens, God will get you home in the end as long as you let him drive. That's God's will."

Isn't that a cool thing to think of? I know it's easier said than done to think of our lives as a Sunday drive, but I do know I want God as my driver(master of my life) and I will be led home by Him someday.

The Average Jane Journal #40 - Thankful

The Average Jane Journal #40
Thursday, March 26, 2009

My heart is just so full of joy and thanksgiving today. I am loving how I can "see" God is working in my life and helping me with my attacks in life. I just wanted to share a couple of things this morning.

Psalm 68:19
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens."

This verse was part of my daily reading this morning. It touched me because it seemed to sum up the joy and thanksgiving I am feeling. I told God thank you for bearing my burdens and for loving me so much. He is the One in my life that I can bring ANYTHING to, and He cares about it all.


A song I heard this morning had a line in it that stuck out to me, that sort of went along with my thoughts I was already having.

"You are a God who has all things, but still you want me."

I hope you have an awesome day!! Love to you all!!

The Average Jane Journal #39 - Happy Spring

The Average Jane Journal #39
Sunday, March 22, 2009

Happy Spring!! I'm a bit late, but officially two days ago we entered the season of Spring. On that day, I pondered Spring and what it means for people. I thought about how so many people love Spring and what it represents. For a lot of people Spring is their favorite season; they look forward to flowers and gardening, colors and "new" growth everywhere. Spring is also the door opening to warmer weather, or so we hope.

I have never really given much thought to the season of Spring, it's just another day to me. I don't care too much about flowers and gardening(I figure I might do that when I'm old). To me Spring reminds me that the HOT weather is coming-which makes me dislike Spring just because it's a bookend to summer.(heehee)

Anyway, as I was pondering on the first day of Spring and thinking about how different I am from most folks about the seasons, I was reminded that we were all given different likes/dislikes and it's ok that I'm different. Now find me on a beautiful Autumn day and then I will sing my praises for my fav season. The perfect day to me is a fall day, the leaves crisp and laying everywhere on the ground. The temp would probably be in the low sixties, a light jacket might be needed if I so choose. And you want color? How beautiful are the short lived Fall colors, when the trees are turning. Sure, your Spring colors stay around longer; but to me that short lived beauty outdoes Spring by miles.

I was talking to God about how different I am, or at least that's how I see it. I'm sort of always "against the grain". But then God reminded me about how He made us all different-so of course we're going to all like different things. Besides, if everyone likes Spring, He had to create some of us that were fans of His other seasons and beauties.

Plus, one thing I do love about coming out of winter is rain. I absolutely LOVE rain!! I was reading a book recently where the author was describing a morning he was having. He was up in his mountain cabin, which had a screened in porch and he was sitting in the safety of that porch watching the hard, fast downpour of rain. All I can say is I wanted to jump in that book and be right there. To me I see that as peaceful and beautiful, where other people see that as stressful and a ruin to a day. So again I asked God, why am I so weird? Why would I find peace and beauty in a rainstorm, when the majority of people do not. I immediately heard "everything stops" and "mighty power".

Where you lovers of Spring find God's mighty power in the flowers and colors of His mighty creation-I see some of His mighty power and beauty in rain. To me rain is romantic and peaceful; and I love the sound and smell of rain. Ever since I read that story of the screened in porch I have pictured that everyday, and I think I long for that peace-the "everything stops" moments and just be with God. Of course I would preface this "dream" day by saying I would want my family home and safe, and that the rainstorm would not cause harm to others. Can I wish that in my perfect day? I would also ask that it not be hot, sticky rain(I'm from Texas). I also know this couldn't be an "everyday" day, then it wouldn't be special; just a beautiful treat from God.

Anyway, all these thoughts of seasons and weather just made me think of what I am thankful for. What do I love that God created? It's ok that I'm different, God made me that way. So next time you're alone with God, just for fun, imagine your perfect day; that treat that is beautiful just to you. Imagine the temperature, what you would be doing, what clothes you're wearing, who you would be with, etc. Tell him thank you for those special days you have had and the ones to come.

Another thing that came out of all the "Spring" thinking is I thought about what that word represents like "newness", "new growth", "springing forward", etc. It made me think that I want to "spring forward" in another area of my faith walk and spritual growth. The subject I was reading about that day was getting rid of agreements you have made along life's road that are not of God. Like things you have come to believe about yourself or God, because of experiences and satan planting seeds in your heart that you have believed. Some examples are:

I am not worthy to God, I could never be used by Him
I do not deserve love
I am not good enough for God to love me
Love never stays
I am weird because I am different (sound familiar???)
God doesn't care about the little things in my life, I just need to figure them out by myself
God will never forgive me, I am too bad of a person

You get what I mean about agreements that are not of God? So this is my "spring" of my spiritual journey this year. I want to notice subtle agreements and get rid of them.(remember satan loves to use subtleness) What are your agreements that you live with? I encourage you to "spring forward" in this area and leave those agreements behind. Next time something is getting you down, just remember to ask yourself "Is this of GOD? Does this match his character and heart?". If it's not and you have been believing it, then get rid of it.

The Average Jane Journal #38 - Four Days

The Average Jane Journal #38
March 13, 2009

Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."

When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."

When Jesus saw her(Martha) weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked.
"Come and see, Lord," they replied.
Jesus wept.
John 11:1-4; 33-35


Isn't God's timing wonderful? He really is there in all things, even through little things that we might overlook. Isn't it cool how we can be in the right place at the right time? Like hearing from the right friends, being in the right study, reading the right book-all of it God ordained for what you need at that time. God speaks to us through so many avenues, and this past week or so since my last entry I have been hearing the same thing-WAIT and worship!!

The scripture above came to me through my study group and I loved the verse about showing God's glory. It reminded me of a prayer I started so long ago, that I wanted my life to show God's glory. I didn't forget that I prayed it, but I forgot just what that prayer request might require of me. Jesus said that the sickness of Lazarus would not end in death-but in glory for God. Jesus raised Lazaurs FOUR days later. I realized that night in group that I am still in my "four days". The journey I am on will not end in death(failure), but will end in the glory of God-that whatever happens will be undeniable that it was His hand. That is what I have wanted from the beginning of my journey.

I also loved the part where Jesus cried. I have never thought of this before, but Jesus cried for his loved ones even though He knew He was about to bring Lazarus to life. He "was deeply moved in spirit and troubled" for those He cared about. He knew their grief would soon turn to joy, but He still wept for them. Isn't that cool? Jesus knows the outcome of our troubles, He already knows how the story ends. But we are loved so much that when we hurt our Savior is "deeply moved" over our pain. That is very encouraging to me.

I hope that whatever your journey is right now, and you feel like nothing is happening or that you're taking some punches from the enemy that you will remember that God has divine strategy. You may be in a time of waiting, but keep on looking to God and worship Him. Give Him your pain, fears, dreams, etc. God's timing is the best and there will be glory for Him after those "four days". God can see the big picture, and knows how the story(particular journey) will end. Believe me I know it gets hard sometimes, too hard. But don't turn your eyes away from God-it's a daily, sometimes hourly "active turn" for me too. But He never turns His eyes away from us. Some good advice I have had recently is when we are quite overwhelmed with all we are going through and we feel like we are slipping, just keep it simple and remember that God loves us. Remember God's character, His heart and that will help you through your "four days".

God's delays are not God's denials!!

PS-Thanks to you who have prayed for me, given me words of encouragement, and are just there for me. You are part of that right thing at the right time-God's timing!!

The Average Jane Journal #37 - Battle Against My Joy

THe Average Jane Journal #37
Monday, March 2, 2009

Wow, what a couple of days I have had-they have been hard, but at this moment I am thankful for those moments.

I have been brinking on total "shut down" and I finally aknowledged that yesterday. I emailed a dear friend and spilled my heart, things I had been trying not to tell God. Why did I think I was hiding anything from God? After sending the email, and rereading it I realized that was the most honest I have been in a long time. So I copied the email and put it in my personal journal and asked God to just take it. Take all the ugly stuff I was trying to hide from Him, and help me start healing. Before I wrote the email, I wrote one statement in my personal journal. I feel like I am crumbling and I do not know what to pray for. Well, God has definitely shown me how to pray now.

My big secret that I have been trying to hide from God? I am not happy!! I dance around that fact every day, having my ups and downs. But you know what, I just had to admit it. I do not like my circumstances right now. I don't know why that was so hard for me to admit, I'm know people all over the world feel that way. But I have been so afraid of disrespecting God and dealing with my fears of failing God.

After writing the email on Sunday, and going through half a box of tissues I might add; I went back to reading my book-"Walking with God" by John Eldredge. (he has become my fav author at this moment-I want to read anything he has written.) Well, the very next chapter that I was on in that book was written about me!!! Or at least it felt that way. He talked about how someone came to him and told him "your battle in life is against your joy". When I read that statement, I knew it was meant for me to read at that very moment.

In the midst of my email to my friend, I told her how ever since I have been trying to acknowledge that I have opposition in this world, that it seems like the enemy has "upped the anty". Well, duh!!! What did I think was going to happen? That he would run off just because I knew he was there?

"...you'll soon discover that if you want life and joy, if you are moving into deeper intimacy with God, you are going to attract attention. The enemy will not like it." (quote from book)
I felt like I was the "starring show" at the enemy's dinner/movie night.

One of the things that my joy was being taken from, was this blog. I kept hearing in my head things like "how can you be encouraging to other people when you are so up and down? You write about one thing one day, and how you are finding strength, but then the next day you fall flat on your face. How can you ever be helpful to other people by sharing your heart?" But I have had to remember that I am being obedient to God in starting this journal, and I am only human-I will fall on my face. Those could be just the journals that will touch someone the most. So I'm continuing the fight in my joy being attacked in this area.

I am afresh today, and feel strengthened. I feel like I have a "name" to my attack-the enemy wants my joy. This is an area where I know it would be easy to cripple me. When I get down deep enough, I will stay there by choice-anger, sadness, depression, rejection can become my friend. That's just my personality and I know that about myself. I have been trying to figure out how to be "joyful in the Lord" in all circumstances-I just couldnt' figure out how people do that. But I wanted to. I still have the desire to do God's will and bring Him glory in my life. And as long as I still have that desire, no matter how small I might feel it somedays-I want to fight!!!

So back to my personal journal yesterday and just simply telling God that I do not know what to pray for-He has shown me now. Through this book I'm reading I am being reminded of how the Bible warns us of opposition-but for some reason we want to ignore it. When we have trouble in our lives we want to assume that either (1) we blew it or (2) God is holding out on us. Why do we forget about the opposition? When I feel the attack on my life I can command that assault to leave me in the power of Jesus' name. How cool is that power!!! If you're not sure what satan is using to attack you with, but you just know you are being attacked-ask Jesus what you need to pray against. Despair? Doubt? Subtle lies? Distraction?

While emailing with another friend, she told me that the quote I used in the last journal entry did not sit well with her. It made me realize that I saw it differently than her, and maybe from you also. She told me the quote made things feel too "real" for her. In a way I applaud that, so maybe our eyes will be open to the fact that opposition is real. But when I discovered the quote and fell in love with it, it made me feel hopeful. It made me feel superior to satan, knowing that I could make him fearful. Sort of like a challenge!!! So hopefully you can look back over the quote in a different way-be challenged to make satan fear what you can be!!!!