The Average Jane Journal #65 - Suggested Book

"The Search for Significance" by Robert S McGee


I have only done chapter one of this book/workbook but I kept getting this feeling to spread the word about this book. If you have even the tiniest bit of self-worth issues-depending on relationships for worth, getting jealous of relationships, trying to be somebody you're not around others, looking for worth in success, needing material things and money, people pleaser, not good enough for God's love, needing attention to feel worthy, being a good enough mom, God can never use someone like you, etc; then this book is for you. Like I said, I felt like I should tell you about this book-even if it was just for one of you.

"Search for Significance should be ready by every Christian" BILLY GRAHAM

Make sure if you look into getting this book, that you get the book and workbook edition. I got mine on half.com but I heard they had them at Barnes & Nobles. I think you will get more out of it with the workbook part; it comes together in one book. I had trouble finding it at first, so make sure the front says Book & Workbook. Enjoy your journey if you choose to take it. If you ever want to share anything you learn about yourself, I would love to hear it. I sooo love God stories!!!

The Average Jane Journal #64 - Comments on Last Two Journals

Well, it wasn't my intention but the last two journals ended up being related; at least in my life.

The first one spoke about my issues with pride and the newest journal spoke about our greatest fear. I was speaking to a friend about how I worry about pride and she told me that I'm fearing something that hasn't happened. So, now I'm thinking that maybe my issues with pride is something the enemy holds me down with.

I still have a great fear of failure, as mentioned in the newest journal-but I also fear pride. I have other fears, but I was just mentioning fears I have in living for God everyday. I am looking at my fear of pride in a different way now, or at least trying to. I have lived with it for so long, it is hard to change my view of it somedays.

I have a desire to do great things for my Lord, but I also have so many things holding me back; such as my fears, sins, etc. I want to daily take the next step to enable me to do tomorrow what I can't do today. And one of those steps is to deal with fears and sins. Do you ever think about getting to Heaven one day and imagine being able to see what "assignments" you missed out on here on Earth, and seeing the blessings you missed out on? I think about that sometimes and it saddens me, so I want to better myself to "see/hear" my Godly assignments and step forward through my fears.

As far as a line between pride and feeling proud of my accomplishments, I think it all comes down to my heart. Am I boasting in myself or in Christ?

"Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 2 Corinthians 10:17 (NIV)


lyrics by Brandon Heath

There is hope, for me yet, because God won't forget,
all the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see, he's not finished with me yet,
he's not finished with me yet

Still wonerin' why I'm here. Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... He's up to something,
And the farther out I go, I've seen enough to know
that I'm not here for nothin'
He's up to somethin'

The Average Jane Journal #63 - Greatest Fear

What is your greatest fear?

I can admit that my fear is failure.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

What hard thing does God want you to do to complete His assignment or to get you in the place you need to be to start His assignment?

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13 NIV

What can you do today to enable you to do tomorrow what you can't do today?

So again, what is your greatest fear? I like this quote from the movie "Coach Carter".

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

Now of course this quote is from a basketball movie, but we are "powerful beyond measure". We have the same power living in us that raised Christ from the grave. So, I ask you, are you "playing small"? Don't let the fear of failure hold you back. I love how the quote says our being liberated from our own fears will help others with their fear. It could be a chain reaction, touching your circle and their circle, etc.

The Average Jane Journal #62 - Picking Your Brain #2

Do you struggle with pride? I have often said that pride is my "thorn in the flesh". I fear pride so much that sometimes I wonder if it's for a reason. Maybe God knows that I could easily fall to pride. Or it's just something that the enemy can easily use. Either way, I worry about it a lot.

So I was wondering what you think. Sometimes when I feel like I'm relying on God, in His will, trying really hard to live for Him-then I feel proud of my accomplishment. It makes me happy that even for a short time I am on the right track. But then the "fear of pride" comes running at me. So in your opinion, where is the line that divides pride and being proud of your accomplishments? Is feeling proud of yourself a sin? Is it just something the enemy likes to confuse us on? Maybe the fact that we can't do anything without Christ is the answer. Our proud accomplishments wasn't really something we did(on our own) anyway.

THe Average Jane Journal #61 - Something to Admit

Since writing my last journal entry, I have had to admit something to myself and to God. The last few days while pondering on my son's future, and thinking I had given it all to God; I discovered something. Anytime I would ponder the question "What if he goes into ministry?" I immediately wanted to shout "No, Lord, please no". Isn't that sad?? We all have career choices we would NOT want our children to make, but my top of the list is going into ministry!! I know why I feel this way, but it just made me realize I had not fully given my son's future over to the Lord. I'm not saying that I can control it, I'm just saying I hadn't let go of it. (I'm also not saying that God told me my son would be in ministry.)

So anyway, I admitted to God that I was still holding on and felt like sharing that. Bottom line is this: If my son is the local town mechanic or he has some sort of "stage" in his future; if his priority is God in everything he does, then that is the future I want for him.

The Average Jane Journal #60 - My Dream for My Son

That's my son Jackson, and as most of you know it is my heart's desire to see this kid find God someday. And I know he will someday, because I feel like God has told me so. So now I just wait...praying and dreaming about the man of God I desire him to be. I don't just want him to be satisfied with being saved from Hell, I desire for him to totally get it; for God to be his everything. I don't want much huh? But I know you all understand, I'm sure you want the same for your kids.

We all know Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I have been praying that lately for my son. I have been asking God what His plans are for my son and telling Him that I'm excited to see what they are. I know that faithfulness goes right beside the promise to that verse; and that is where my desire for Jackson to one day be totally bananas for God comes from. I want him to experience that plan God has for him, and I desire it to be a great plan. (Yes, I know I'm a bit partial there-but I totally leave it up to God.)

And listen how cool that verse sounds in The Message translation, "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." It's not much different but it made my heart swell when I read that version. As much as I can dream about my son's future-God can dream bigger. I pray that my son's heart will eventually catch that dream.

This morning I heard a song that felt like "home" when I heard it. It is a song about a father praying for his child. The singer is a guy that is a member of my church, but he never gets to go because he travels on the weekends to sing at other churches or conferences, etc. I have seen him sing three times now and I always love his stories. I hope you enjoy the words to this song as much as I did-maybe it will give you a new excitement for praying for your children and wondering what their God plan is.


"Thought You Should Know" by Danny Oertli

It started on the day you were born,
I wanted you to have everything.
Now it seems my conscience is torn
between what I desire and what I believe.
What kind of man would I be if
I didn't pray for you what my father prayed for me?

So I pray with all my heart
That you will be broken
and in brokenness find God.
And I pray that you will fall
and falling down you'll stand to rise above it all.
I pray that God would break you as you grow.
Thought you should know.

As you walk down your winding road
faith and love will go a long way.
You'll learn all you'll need to know,
that life is hard yet love remains.
I wish you nothing but the best
so I'm asking God to put you to the test.

I pray that God would break you as you grow,
and I'm with you every step upon that road.
Thought you should know.