Well, it wasn't my intention but the last two journals ended up being related; at least in my life.
The first one spoke about my issues with pride and the newest journal spoke about our greatest fear. I was speaking to a friend about how I worry about pride and she told me that I'm fearing something that hasn't happened. So, now I'm thinking that maybe my issues with pride is something the enemy holds me down with.
I still have a great fear of failure, as mentioned in the newest journal-but I also fear pride. I have other fears, but I was just mentioning fears I have in living for God everyday. I am looking at my fear of pride in a different way now, or at least trying to. I have lived with it for so long, it is hard to change my view of it somedays.
I have a desire to do great things for my Lord, but I also have so many things holding me back; such as my fears, sins, etc. I want to daily take the next step to enable me to do tomorrow what I can't do today. And one of those steps is to deal with fears and sins. Do you ever think about getting to Heaven one day and imagine being able to see what "assignments" you missed out on here on Earth, and seeing the blessings you missed out on? I think about that sometimes and it saddens me, so I want to better myself to "see/hear" my Godly assignments and step forward through my fears.
As far as a line between pride and feeling proud of my accomplishments, I think it all comes down to my heart. Am I boasting in myself or in Christ?
"Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 2 Corinthians 10:17 (NIV)
lyrics by Brandon Heath
There is hope, for me yet, because God won't forget,
all the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see, he's not finished with me yet,
he's not finished with me yet
Still wonerin' why I'm here. Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... He's up to something,
And the farther out I go, I've seen enough to know
that I'm not here for nothin'
He's up to somethin'
Saturday, August 1, 2009
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